Pesto!

Italians are horrified at the mere thought of subject basil to a food processor. This is wrong, wrong, wrong. And I think they are right, right, right. 

They needed victims, and my loving relatives pushed me forward. 

We are getting instructions from the ship's chef. 

Garlic first, then salt, crush in the marble mortar with a wooden pestle. Then tear up the basil and toss that in. The woman next to me - and she won - had the moves down, really pounding the basil. So do what she is doing in the pictures, not what I am doing.

I already know I have too much garlic in there, and cannot fix it. 

Panel of 3 judges, including, I must add, the husband of the winner (ahem) - judged the results. "Too much garlic" was the determination of the experts for my pesto (which I already knew). 

Want some live-action? Sure you do.