International Travel Planning: COVID Edition

We are in the end stages of planning an international trip, and while I expected a couple of ridiculous developments, I did not expect they would be with a) trouble finding a COVID test, and b) arguing with Verizon about international plans.

COVID DOCUMENTATION

I know you will be shocked SHOCKED to discover that the US has handled this poorly. Our PAPER vax cards are, technically, not accepted by the European Union because we are in the DIGITAL AGE ffs, and they view our crumpled paper cards with suspicion and some justifiable derision (there are indications that in real life, in some locations, the cards are OK, but who wants to get stuck?). The US is also not on the list of countries with reciprocal agreements with the European Union and it’s pretty damn embarrassing when 35 countries including Albania, El Salvador, Togo and even that pretend-country the Vatican have managed to figure out how to create an acceptable digital vaccination certificate, but the US has not.

Because we are this collectively stupid, US travelers have to have proof of a negative COVID test before entering some countries. We are heading to Portugal, a country that managed to get their entire adult population vaccinated very early on, and they require a negative COVID result at the airport. And it has to be “lab-certified” - at-home tests under video supervision, or through a pharmacy or clinic that can provide digital documentation.

This of course costs money. And requires not only time, but timing. With a Sunday evening flight that goes through Amsterdam before landing in Portugal Monday afternoon, a good-for-24-hours antigen test seems risky. What if we have flight delays? But - PCR test results, good for 72 hours, are still taking 1-2 days around here. Which takes up 24-48 hours of the 72-hour result window. I would have to get tested Friday afternoon for the result to still be valid Monday afternoon, and that assumes I would even have the result by Sunday.

Enter the “rapid test” choices. And the expense. A PCR test with a result in 15 minutes and the digital record sent to your phone or email? $125-300. I made an appointment for Sunday at one of the few local clinics that even offer rapid results - $135 each. Might be covered by insurance, but still - ouch. But that result should get us into Amsterdam, if needed, and then through Lisbon and even through our initial hotel check-in.

AND - GUESS WHAT? Those antigen tests we all got for free from the US government? CAN’T BE USED TO RE-ENTER THE US!!

INTERNATIONAL CALLING

Hey, I’ve done this before! I have used Verizon’s TravelPass plan for international travel. You are charged $10/day if you use it. Once you use your cellular connection, you are charged $10 for the next 24 hours. Don’t use cellular? Don’t get charged. (I have my cell data and roaming turned off for the majority of the trip - easy to get texts and emails wherever there is wifi). The plan then simply uses your domestic plan allowances - if you have unlimited talk and text, you get unlimited talk and text. The only downside is - perhaps? - some throttling on speed, but it’s not like I am downloading games or video in the middle of Lisbon. For a 17-day trip, I might fire up a cellular connection a few days here and there; even if I use it for 5 days, that’s $50.

I added TravelPass to my line, but was unable to add it to husband’s even after multiple attempts. I got on Chat #1, and the majority of the chat was the rep trying to sign me up for the $100/month international plan, because TravelPass would cost me $170. I replied that it would only cost me $170 if I used it every day. We then proceeded to have some version of this conversation multiple times until I finally asked if I had gotten connected with sales by mistake. The rep finally did what I had been asking and added TravelPass to the number.

OR SO I THOUGHT. Four days later, no TravelPass shows up in the Verizon account. I start Chat #2. And again with the sales pitch for the $100/month international plan, complete with a statement that with TravelPass we would be charged as soon as we started our trip. It would be $170 per line vs the $100/month/per line! I replied that was not how TravelPass worked. I could keep TravelPass in my plan for forever, and only be charged if I actually used cell service internationally. I resorted to copying and pasting entire lines of how TravelPass works, directly from Verizon’s website, into the chat.

Success. Finally. But…geez, people.

OTHER ODDS AND ENDS

Health declaration form - paper - to get through our connection in Amsterdam - check. Health declaration form - digital - to get into Lisbon - on tomorrow’s agenda. App for the BinaxNow proctored test downloaded and account set up - check. Laundry done, ready to pack - check. What to do about my interpretation of “adequate pairs of shoes” vs tour packing list vs what will fit in my carry-on….uhhhhhhh….